When the infamous MTV wonder Jersey Shore commenced, I thought it was going to bomb. I thought it had the potential to be the worst show on television...in history. Now, after dedicating an hour each week to the nonsensical ramblings of twenty-somethings from Jersey, I have truly experienced love.
Before you judge me, let me digress. This show is like a trainwreck- it's so ridiculous that you can't help but tune in each week to see whose hair got higher, which guidette hooks up with which fist-pumping guido and what drunken ramblings Snookie will fall into and result in a punch to her overly-tanned mug. Each episode brings me deeper under its spell, and I shutter to think what I will do with my Thursday nights when the show completes its season. In case your new to the Jersey Shore sensation, or if you just feel like reliving it, let me break down each Shore-idian for you:
Let's go with the obvious one first- "The Situation." I hate this guy. No, really. I hate him so much I actually want to see him fail at everything he does. And there's nothing that he fails more at than "hooking up" with innocent prey. His quotes are definitely the best of all the characters, though. "It's not a matter of when we hook up, it's just when I decide..." Hes easy to cringe at and hard to like, but he does have some endearing qualities. i.e., his ability to name his abs "The Situation."
And then, there's Snooks. Snooks is the kind of girl that didn't get enough hugs as a child. Her bump-it 'do and tree-stump legs make her stand at about 3'5", on a tall day. I've seen that girl's underwear, and lack of underwear, more than I've seen my own. But she is kind of cute, in that smoosh-her-in-your-pocket kind of way. If she goes tanning one more time, I think her skin may actually start to CHIP off.
Ronnie and Sammi, what a match made in heaven. Ronnie is that hard to stomach, and the two together are actually quite adorable. Sammi, or the "sweetest bitch you'll ever meet," is a real treat. Somedays, shes a little whirlwind of spunk. And others, shes downright crazy. I'm anxious to see if this duo will last beyond the Jersey Shore.
JWOW is...? She might not be half bad if she took those damn blonde-extensions out of her weave, stopped wearing sweatpants with Uggs in the middle of the summer with her undies incessantly hanging out and learned how to dance like a normal human being. That's one bitch I'd want on my side, though, I'll tell you what...
Pauly, or as I like to call him, the Hair Gel King, has been taken under the wing of "The Situation." He's his wingman, and is always stuck with the broken-down friends of "The Situation's" hook-ups. Pauly, get some balls, dude. Stand up for yourself and take the hot one for once.
Last but not least, there's Vinny. (Who?) He's a pretty uneventful character, but it seems like the longer he hangs with his housemates, the more Guido he's getting.
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