Fame

In some capacity, I believe we've all desired to acheieve some sort of fame. Who hasn't dreamed of becomming a musician or an actor, an artist or a dancer, or even become famous by being the absolute complete opposite? I believe our culture and society breeds us this way- to constantly be in search of the next crazy invention like Velcro or a mindlessly brilliant story line like The Hangover. The real bitch of it? We can't achieve it by ourselves. No matter how fantastic we all are inside our own heads, we technically are worthless unless someone else realizes it.

So, we all go around trying to prove ourselves. I can draw better than anyone else! I can sculpture the hell out of this piece of clay! I am the best harmonica player this side of the Mason-Dixie! Do we practice to be great? Of course. Do we practice to be great for our own personal satisfaction? Not until we have acheived the fame we've dreamt of our whole lives.

The unfortunate part is that very few people actually live the way they want. There are all these rules and guidelines that we are supposed to follow: Go to college, earn a job, make money, raise a family, complain about your job every day until retirement, retire, finally get to do things you never had time for before. Do it in order- you must do it in order. Do you know what I say about that? Fuck order.

I want to live my life so ass-backwards that people have to stand on their heads just to see things from my perspective. I've never been one for conforming to rules; I feel like they were only created to seperate the spineless from the rebels. I've never been one to do what is socially acceptable or expected of me. Life's no fun that way.

So, do I want to be famous? Probably not in the same way as most people. I don't want a fancy house with a view of Hollywood Hills. I don't want a chauffeur or a chef or even a clothing line that kids in sweatshops slave over 20 hours a day.

I want to write a book.
I want to own a bookstore.
And, I want to constantly live my life red-lined.

And if that makes me famous, then hell yeah; sign me up.

I think it's time for rehab...

I have a BIG problem. It's so big, in fact, that it's going to take a wishing well full of pennies to get me over it. I'm in a hole, i'm stuck in a rut, and I can't dig myself out or rev my engine to escape it.

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm addicted to television. If you know me at all, you'll know that this is really nothing that new. I've always had a slight dependence on the 'ole boob tube. Nothing crazy, just a hit here or there to stop the shakes.

But now, NOW, I have hit an all time low. I have to wake up in the morning to catch Reba and miscellaneous music videos. I have to come home on my lunch break to catch MTV's True Life or Wife Swap. I rush out the door at 5:00 to make sure I can make it home in time to catch re-runs of Grey's Anatomy and House Hunters.

And to make matters worse, I have about 5,000 channels. I used to only have a couple, and it was much more conducive to my lifestyle. But, my lovely boyfriend thought it'd be a great idea to get a gazillion channels when we upgraded to a flat-screen. "But Babe, it's HD!" But, Babe! now has her ass glued to the couch for a good 6-8 hours a day.

When did this start, you ask? Well, ever since I graduated from college 6 months ago, I have been faced with a ridiculous amount of free time that I never had before. So, I soon learned to fill that time with what's most important in my life- the lifestyles of the rich and the famous. What used to be a small reliance has developed into a full-blown addiction that may require Dr. Drew's assistance and a brief stay at the Pasadena rehabilitation facility.

The first step is realizing you have a problem though, right? So, I'm recognizing it. I, Amanda, have a serious, NO-JOKE, size-large, monstrous, disgusting addiction to television (specializing in reality programs). I am now going to slowly wing myself off the drug. I know what you're thinking, but I can't go cold turkey. I'm not strong enough for that. I just need to cut back. So, for this week, one hour a day of television must be replaced with one hour of reading.

I'll keep you posted...